I went to the appointment with Adrian and my mom, and although every second was certainly not packed full of beautiful emotion (the appointment lasted about an hour), there were definitely some moments that took our breath away. All of us (even Adrian) were having a hard time not crying. The ultrasound started out a bit comically, since the first shot that the technician took happened to be a crotch shot of the baby. She made sure that we wanted to know the sex, and then explained that we were looking right at the male genitals. I had been concerned that I might be disappointed if I found out that I was having a boy (I always imagined that my first child would be a girl), but all of those fears faded away as soon as I saw the baby. I knew as soon as I saw him that I would love him! I think that something about seeing the live images from inside my womb really made the whole experience real in a way that it had not been before.
The highlight for us was when we saw a profile shot of the baby sucking his thumb. We actually saw him put his hand up and into his mouth, and then saw his mouth making a sucking motion!
I realize that it might sound silly, but at that moment we all seemed to be thinking "wow - he is a real baby".I was only a little bit teary during the ultrasound procedure, but on the drive home afterward when I was making all of the phone calls to family and friends, I felt extremely emotional. Adrian and I were really going to be parents! Someone was going to be calling us "mom" and "dad". It was an overwhelming realization. Of course, just as I was feeling a rush of emotion, the song "These Days" by Nico came on the radio. I am not sure what it is about that song, (perhaps because it reminds me of "The Royal Tenenbaums"), but I have always liked it and its melancholy tone. The song hit me in the just the right way, and I began crying. A lot.
Ever since yesterday afternoon, I have thought about the flutters in my belly a little differently. There is a little guy moving around in there! All I can say is wow.
